Filed under: Thoughts....
I fell like crying now… don’t really know why.
This year’s been a complete rolercoaster… service year is no joke. I fell like I’m some tragic comic who’s heart has been ripped out, and now I’m bleeding all over the place… Can you really love some one so much, that you actually bleed for them? So much that you want to cry everytime you just hear their voice over the phone? Well… I’m sort of in a situation just like that. I miss them all so damn much. Almost feel like swearing. Stupid, amazing people who changed my life. pffft!
I think I’m just a bit lonely… I want someone here with me.. Just to talk to them… it’s sad actually… My service year friends (family) know me better than my own Flesh and Blood. Sad.
Te veel lig kan jou blind maak – Straatligkinders.
It’s true.. unfortunatly.. If you spend too much time in the light, and among other lights, you become blind to what you actually have, understand? I’m talking about Christianity here. Sometimes you need to go sit in the darkness to be able to see better. Sometimes you need to see the world for what it is, realize that you’re part of the Minority… The world is a sick place, cruel… The moral lines have been blurred to such an extend that we can’t even decide for ourselves anymore. Individuality has been suppressed, silenced, forced into the back of our minds. No one wants to stand out anymore, and make a difference for the good. Probably because anything that stands out, becomes a good target practice exersize…
I’m not afraid of the world. A part of me just wants to raech out into the darkness and just light up a match… I just want to go break the darkness, even if it were just by smiling. I know the Light within me. I know the power that it holds. I know the source of Living Water, so why should i watch His beloved lost children die of thirst? Why can’t i give them the Water they crave? Why should i watch them try to quench their thrist with the Salt water of this world… You can’t silence the outcry for redemtion. You can hide it, yes. But it is a voice that cries out from the pit of your soul. Only when you become still… you hear it. You feel the burning urge to just cry out to a Deity that can set you free…
What else can you do? It is our own pride and fear that keeps us from Him. Fear of exposure. We find ourselves priding ourselves on our shame. interresting, aren’t we?
The world doesn’t have to stay thirsty. The water carriers just have to start doing their job.
that includes me….
